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":the game:"
Author: Nutcasenightmare
Audio used: Melodrama

Head First Into A Wall

Scary teleportation

1234 go!-MJ

Origin: 11/01/2008
Size: 5.2 MB
Score(As of 16 June, 2010): 4.42/5.00
Awards: Review Crew Pick.gifReview Crew Pick

Awards 9.gifDaily 4th Place

Awards 14.gifWeekly 5th Place

Author's comments:
Special thanks to pHacon for helping me get an admin move the game to my Armorgames account! =======EDIT=========== NG Certificate, nominated for Tank Awards, and now my 1337th reviewer! "how do you give your opinion on everything? make a game about it." ~JoexP Congrats to JoexP for being my 1337th reviewah! =D =======EDIT========== Oh wow! Flash Portal History!!! Thanks Tom! List of websites that, if :the game: is on, is stolen: -Ebaum' Attribution would at least be nice, kthxbai. DO WUT YOU WANT CUZ A PIRATE IS FREE. YOU ARE A PIRATE. =========EDIT============ ====== Oh, and to save you the trouble: :THE GAME: is now downloadable! Now, as this game is 640x400, this game would go PERFECTLY with the screen resolution 1280x800. Twice the size and twice the lag. Spread :the game: around. Go ahead. ========================= With over 40 levels, over 60 characters, over 3 minutes worth of cutscenes, over 2 months of development, over 9000 jokes, over $153 spent on coffee, and over 6 statistics made up, you'd think I'd have a better title. :::::the game::::: -Left and Right to move -Up to jump -Down to duck -Ctrl, Alt, and Del to get the hell outta here
Note This information only refers to the official release on the Flash Portal.

:the game: is a parody game by Nutcasenightmare.


The basic level.

:the game: is a parody game divided into 39 levels. The typical level starts with the name of the level being displayed in bold letters. The view than switches to the player standing on a platform in the air. They complete the level by jumping off the platform and dying. Afterwards, a commentary of the level is displayed. This formula is changed repeatedly in order to make messages about various political topics including Anarchism, Communism, Abstinence, and the War on Terror. Occasionally, a level will feature a unique mechanic, such as in Capitalism, where the goal is to collect as much money as possible.


  1. Anarchism - The basic level, sets up framework for future levels. The player can jump off the platform, hear a screaming sound, then a splatter.
  2. Pantheism - Features Einstein (a known pantheist) as the playable character, and the clouds feature mathematical equations.
  3. Hollow Earth - When the player jumps, no splatter sound is ever heard.
  4. Nihilism - Upon beating the level, no text appears.
  5. Communism - The level has five characters, only one of which is in the player's control. Only this character can jump off, as the others are more equal than him.
  6. Communism 2 - Starts like Communism, but then a giant Stalin figure falls from the sky and kills the smaller characters.
  7. Monogamy - There are also two female characters in this stage. After contacting each of them, a heart appears in the top left corner of the screen. Once there are two hearts, they fight each other until both are destroyed. The playable character then literally breaks in half.
  8. Censorship - Only a blank screen appears for a few seconds. Eventually, a Chinese figure will appear and tell you that you enjoyed the Beijing Olympics, before stamping the screen with a "ROFL Mao" [Zedong] card.
  9. Fatalism - A quote foreshadowing the player's fall is shown.
  10. Shooting Lawyers in the Face - This level starts like a Duck Hunt clone, with lawyers taking the place of ducks and a photographer taking the place of the dog. After shooting the photographer however, the player is revealed to be Dick Cheney, and is brutally killed by Sarah Palin. This parodies the Dick Cheney hunting incident.
  11. Domestic Spying - A recording of the player's actions is made. It is then shown edited to be in black and white and with a suicide bomber replacing the player.
  12. Alcoholism - This starts like a minigame based around walking straight to prove one's sobriety to the police. However, the player eventually fails (you can move the character).
  13. The Five Stages - Plays out the five stages of Loss: Denial, Anger, Bargaining (where if the player presses Space and holds it down, the player dances), Depression, and Acceptance, the last two where the character kills himself automatically.
  14. Abstinence Only - When the player starts playing the level, the rules come up, with everything crossed out and the words "DON'T DO ANYTHING" on the screen. After jumping, the player gets a fake notice saying that they contracted an STD.
  15. Tibet - Shows a levitating man being shot by two Chinese soldiers. Once the player hits a button, the man disappears, and one soldier shoots the other.
  16. Feminism - The player controls a woman who can head in one of two directions: "Freedom" and "Damned Groceris." The first simply leads to the edge of the cliff, and the second leads to the garden of Eden, where the female gets squashed by a foot. Either way, the player ends up in hell, where she meets a suicide bomber.
  17. Global Warming - This level is a 2D sidescroller in which Al Gore must reach his mansion before the ice platforms melt. This level also features icicles.
  18. MC Escher - This level is based on the popular image. The player has to walk up the staircase, but eventually trips and falls down the stairs endlessly.
  19. Science - This game features three parts. In the first, a fat and skinny man fall at the same rate. In the second, Benjamin Franklin, who is flying a kite with a key, gets electrocuted, and then gets the kite stabbed in his forehead. In the third, the Large Hadron Collider starts a black hole and destroys the world.
  20. Conservativism - Plays like the original game.
  21. Capitalism - The goal is to collect more money than the other two characters. The player, who wears a top hat, gets bigger every time they get money, thus making it easier to get even more money. Eventually, the platform collapses, and the player falls to their death. The opponents, however, get parachutes.
  22. Democracy - A direct parody of the Newgrounds voting system. Players are forced to vote 5 on a submission, making it the most featured submission on the site.
  23. Anime - Detailed scenes of the character appear whenever the player makes an action. Also, the player has large, blond spiky hair.
  24. Music Artists - This game features several popular musicians in a clone of Dance Dance Revolution.
  25. Medicare - Once the player falls to their death, they are put on a line for help.
  26. Euthanasia - After jumping off the platform, the player falls through the top of the screen endlessly until the player puts them to sleep.
  27. Alternative Medicine - This level is a parody of Tamagotchi, and features five ways to "treat" the sick. Parodies the hype and woo surrounding alternative medicines.
  28. Pacifism - After jumping off the platform, the character stops in midair and lectures about the stupidity of violent games.
  29. Couches - This game is a parody of the incident where Tom Cruise went on the Oprah show. Players choose a character and try to destroy the couch by pressing different Arrow Keys repeatedly.
  30. Troll - As a troll, the player must knock internet users off of windows and eat them. Once the game ends, they are told that they can click on a trophy and have a prize. This gets the player rickrolled.
  31. Dope - After taking a marijuana leaf, the game moves slowly and zooms in and out and the sound's pitch lowers.
  32. Taming of the Shrew - The player is a female character.
  33. Bush Administration - This is a clone of Asteroids, with the American flag replacing the ship, national crises replacing the asteroids, and humans replacing the ammunition.
  34. Supernatural Claims - This game is actually a (somewhat unsettling) parody movie of Pacman.
  35. Prisoner's Dilemma - The player is in prison, where they play a game with another prisoner. They can either drop the soap or rape the other prisoner. The only option that makes sense is rape, since soap can't possibly lead to the player getting ahead. The game ends whenever the player wants.
  36. Psychic - The player types messages for a fortune teller to interpret.
  37. War on Terror - A normal game, except the player is wearing an army helmet.
  38. Comedy - A laugh-track plays after the player dies, then Mario walks onto the screen.
  39. The End - The character falls past the credits.


The character is controlled using the arrow keys. The left and right keys are used to walk, the up key is used to jump, and the down key is used to crouch, which is unnecessary.


The graphics of :the game: are simple. Characters usually lack arms and are drawn as simple circles on rectangles. However, these characters are often modified to represent certain people or archetypes. The style also changes when it fits the theme of the particular game, most notably in the anime level. The same peaceful song, "Head First Into A Wall," is used in most levels.


:the game: was well received on Newgrounds. In March 2010, it broke a million views, and had an average review of 9.4/10. The game only won the Daily 4th and Weekly 5th awards, but also won a Review Crew Pick, making it one of the only seven games of 2008 to win the award. :the game: is also featured in four collections: Action Games, Flash Portal History, Politics, and Puzzles. A sequel, "REPLAYING :the game:" was also met with sucess.[1]

Play it here