"Final Fantasy Gil Quest"
Author: Mark (Earth-Mage-2000)
Audio used: Shadows Of The Sky
Origin: 12/31/2003
Size: 4.8 MB
Score(As of 18 July 2010): 4.26/5
Awards: Awards 5.gifDaily Feature
Author's comments:
After many months of endless flash animating it is finally finished, my third Flash movie on Newgrounds! This baby is over 15 minutes long so don't be surprised if you find yourself waiting a while. For those of you that don't know, Gil is the money currency in the Final Fantasy series. I hope everyone had a great holiday season, and enjoy the movie! My next movie will be called Final Fantasy; Doomed, keep an eye out!
Note This information only refers to the official release on the Flash Portal.

Final Fantasy Gil Quest is a Flash movie by Earth-Mage-2000, A.K.A Crazy Boris. It is a video game parody of the Final Fantasy series. It is fairly long for a 2003 Flash movie, clocking in at around 15 minutes.

Story[edit | edit source]

At Home[edit | edit source]

Final Fantasy Gil Quest is the story of Cactuar, an insane anthropomorphic cactus, and Tonberry, his reluctant friend. The movie starts with the two watching TV. When Tonberry asks Cactuar to change the channel, he is shocked to find that the remote does not work. He guesses that the TV is possessed, and if they watch the entire show, a voice will call out "You will die in seven days."[1] Tonberry mentions that he is using the wrong remote, which helps calm him down. When Tonberry successfully changes the channel, they watch a commercial for a new Mary Kate and Ashley commercial.[2] Cactuar, who hates the pair with a homicidal passion, launches himself at the TV, launching him and it out the window and into traffic. After much chaos, Cactuar falls through the roof, proud to report "We are now rid of the Evil Mary-Kate and Ashley." Tonberry, however, is furious, since this was the seventh time Cactuar destroyed the TV that week. Tonberry punches Cactuar back into the traffic, and smiles when he hears the sounds of destruction.

In Transit[edit | edit source]

Later, Tonberry and Cactuar are riding a lawnmower to the TV store while Cactuar sings an annoying "TV Store Song." When Cactuar asks why Tonberry doesn't have a chocobo riding license like the people around them, he responds that he never passed the test. He then has a flashback that parodies the chocobo racing minigame from Final Fantasy X, in which balls constantly came out of nowhere and hit him. Apparently, he spent hours in therapy recovering from that incident.

The Store[edit | edit source]

At the TV store, Tonberry asks an employee about buying a new TV, while Cactuar watches some of the model TVs. When the same Mary-Kate and Ashley commercial as before comes on, he is once again filled with rage. However, much to his horror, every TV in the shop has the commercial on. In a long action scene reminiscent of The Matrix, Cactuar destroys hoards of TVs by throwing, kicking, and shooting needles at them. After decimating the store, he once again reports to Tonberry that "We are now rid of the Evil Mary-Kate and Ashley." Tonberry hits him in the face.

Court[edit | edit source]

Some time later, Cactuar and Tonberry are at court. Tonberry protests to the judge that he shouldn't be there since he didn't break any TVs. However, the judge says that he illegally downloaded music from Kazaa. Then scene then flashes back to Tonberry listening to music from a children's show at his computer. Much to his embarrassment, he was caught by Cactuar. Meanwhile, back in the present, Cactuar claims that he has found the perfect lawyer. Much to Tonberry's dismay, its the local drunk. They soon lose the lawsuit, and Tonberry constantly hits Tonberry in the face. Tonberry is dismayed and certain that they're going to jail, but Cactuar points out that if they pay for the TVs by Friday, they can go free. Unfortunately, the fee is 2,000,000 gil. Tonberry realizes that they need to get the money, otherwise he will listen to Cactuar sing in jail for the rest of eternity. Once Cactuar used the bathroom, they set off on their quest for gil.

Quest for Gil[edit | edit source]

Cactuar and Tonberry try to get Gil using a variety of methods. First, they try pulling weeds. However, Cactuar would just throw the weeds on Tonberry. Next, they tried working as Pikmin. However, Cactuar stepped on an exploding rock. Then, Tonberry tried opening a doctor's office in the style of a children's lemonade stand.[3] He had no customers. Tonberry tried helping by making several signs such as "Will Eat for Food" and "Stop WWII," but these also proved useless. Various other ventures, such as bounty hunting and degnoming, also failed. By the end, Tonberry is using crutches and Cactuar is in a wheelchair. They still only have enough money for a gumball. According to Cactuar, this is good news, since they can get a gumball. Tonberry reminds Cactuar how much he hates him.

Raking[edit | edit source]

One day, Tonberry finds him and Cactuar a job at raking. When he gives Cactuar a rake, he thinks its a giant back-scratcher. Tonberry concludes that Cactuar is a lost cause and starts raking leaves into a pile. Hours later, he finishes. Cactuar asks when he can jump into the leaf pile, but Tonberry warns him not to. Cactuar then proceeds to ignore him and jumps into the pile, ruining hours of hard work. Tonberry, who is furious, casts fire magic at Cactuar. This lights his head on fire, and, after a delayed reaction, Cactuar starts running around the yard with his head on the ground. Within moments, he has pushed all of the leaves into a pile.

Corporation[edit | edit source]

One week later, it appears that the duo got the money in time. They even had enough to start a new raking corporation, complete with a building and huge amounts of surplus money. Cactuar and Tonberry, who are now finely dressed, meet inside. Cactuar says that he has just bought Microsoft, Oklahoma, and a Swedish breakdancing team. He then gets a call on his miniature cell phone from a mysterious "H.R. Moogle." He owns a competing raking corporation, and is angry that Cactuar's company is doing so well. He demands that Cactuar stops raking leaves and declares bankruptcy. Cactuar, of course, doesn't know what bankruptcy is, so Moogle decides to explain it differently. Cactuar, Tonberry, and Moogle reenact the famous All Your Base scene. Neither Cactuar nor Tonberry understand what that was all about.

The Final Battle[edit | edit source]

Moogle creates an explosion, and enters the building with a diabolical laugh, along with his associate, Bomb. Cactuar and Bomb face eachother in a game of "Mol-De-Toh," a card game. Cactuar is able to defeat Bomb, who explodes shortly afterwards. Meanwhile, Moogle and Tonberry summon epic beasts. Moogle summons a giant Dora the Explorer, complete with laser vision. Tonberry summons "Ifrit, Demon of Fire," who turns out to be a pine cone. Tonberry throws it at Dora, somehow instantly taking her out. However, while Tonberry was distracted, Moogle sneaks up behind him with a gun. When he asks "Any last words?," Tonberry replies "Olson Twins." This sends Cactuar into another berserker rage, and he finishes off Moogle.

Conclusion[edit | edit source]

Another week later, Cactuar tells Tonberry that he has given all of their money to charity. He has also sold some extremely valuable things, including advanced gaming systems, statues, plasma TVs, their souls, and their dignities. Tonberry, who is shocked at first, is preparing to cast a fire spell as the credits roll. As the scene fades to black, Cactuar then says "Hey Tonberry, why is your eye all twitchy?", a punching sound is heard as a red blank screen flashes over the scene, then a title appears stating: "END. Thanks for watching", which ends the movie.

Presentation[edit | edit source]

Final Fantasy Gil Quest has a fairly modest presentation.

Final Fantasy Gil Quest has a fairly simple art design. Animation and effects such as textures are minimal, and characters and objects are simple and used repeatedly. However, each unique character has a unique voice, and there were at least two voice actors involved. The sound effects used are also basic.

Reception[edit | edit source]

Final Fantasy Gil Quest has been fairly popular on Newgrounds. As of July 2010, it has over 600,000 views and an average review of 8.8/10 based off of 1444 reviews, impressive for such an old Flash. Along with its Daily Feature Award, it is featured in the Final Fantasy collection. The main characters of Final Fantasy Gil Quest, Cactuar and Tonberry, are fairly popular on Newgrounds, and at least a couple of threads on the BBS have been made about them. [4][5]

Watch it Here

Transcript[edit | edit source]

Note: This is incomplete, Please finish it expanding it!

Tomberry: This channel sucks like a bucket of ticks. Cactuar:

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